Of Honey, Pistachios and Cacophony

It's the northern region this time, the city of Tripoli to be exact. The drums of another civil war seem to be calling for more blood. A city once infamous for its history, heritage, religious state and sweets is now raging with organized sectarian conflicts, or not to sound pessimistic allow me to say miniature ones. You can't really tell who is fighting who up in the north but one thing is certain; the hands controlling and clapping to this puppet show are in no way of Lebanese origin.

The north was and still is a fertile ground for any demographic experiments other countries ( friends or foes ) have been running. It's a place where international borders go unnoticed and religious ones are threatened every day. And what else would make the Syrian government threaten more than once to take over the region should the Lebanese one prove impotent. Like any other Arab country Syria quite well understands the threats of a misguided religious extreme faction.

In fact Lebanon had its own share in 2007, where after sustaining some 5 months of shelling and siege the Nahr Al Bared Camp finally fell into the hands of the Lebanese army when the Fatah Al Islam terrorist faction deliberately assaulted and killed members of the Lebanese ISF. And to no one's amazement, most members of the so far called Fatah Al Islam were non Lebanese. While this is not the first time foreign interference had innocent Lebanese blood on its hands, we shouldn't let such a serious threat go unnoticed.

Every now and then a new faction rises to the surface with a new threat or statement threatening the foes of its supporters. And just like most of the Jihad videos that pursued the 9/11 era, all what you need is a Beard - Keffiyeh Combo, any cheap camcorder will do since the public will be interested in your message and not your facial characteristics. Add a few AK47's leaning against the wall and a flag with your faction's logo on it in the background. And of course let us not forget the catchy name that should be inspired by names derived from ancient heroes, leaders or conquests.

Islam is not new to the north, neither is strict and untainted faith and practice. But what's really alien and foreign is utilizing those to incite schism amongst the Lebanese themselves, and it really is a disappointment when you know that a city with such a history that dates back to 1400 BC and an unmatched heritage, is falling to pieces as foreign hands and shadow governments take their share of the pie unnoticed.

Of Crackers, Coke And China.

One of the benefits of being a Lebanese seems to be the utterly unavoidable involvement in an ever lasting daily debate on politics. It's more like a birth mark where you're forever implicated. No matter how much you dodge and fight back, eventually you will fall prey for this evil victimizing monster called entertainment. Yes, as Lebanese politics nowadays play the biggest role in our show business and entertainment. And who ever told you that belly dancers and shanghaied American shows attract viewers and higher rates is a big fat liar.

Considering the two massive bodies controlling the Lebanese street, life style and almost everything else I will kick it off by describing the way these talk shows are carried on and initiated. After an almost holy poetic speech by the host ( Usually written by a paid under grad ) he/she then proceeds to introduce the guests, and it's always the same formation, for it never changes. You will have two Lebanese politicians ( let it be a senator, acclaimed leader, or a party member ) debating over causes each dubs righteous or not. And to add the sugar and spice there has to be a foreign guest, the nationality of the latter mentioned would depend on the network's political view; only few politically correct Lebanese networks have managed to remain neutral despite the clobbering.

After a brief debate or as most Lebanese prefer to call it: A Warm Up, the host then turns to the respected and highly acclaimed foreign guest to hear his say in the matter. The funny thing is that except a few known foreigners usually the guest is nothing but an editor at a news paper or a professor at some forgotten by god himself university. But certificates and merits count for nothing in show business and as long as he is a foreigner, we should always turn to him for advisory. And again depending on the network's political view the guest will then commence bashing the other opposing party backed up by frequent Yes and I Agree's coming from his Lebanese ally. And he will cajole and cajole in an attempt to polish his country's image and reputation in front of every single Lebanese railing against his opposing foes.

<sarcasm>That was the time I dropped my PSP and paid attention to what was really going on on TV. I can strongly claim and brag about being the sole witness of Neo Colonialism, for on the big Samsung LCD screen, an American was telling me what to do. He was ordering my people to fight against each other, to defend the democracy his country brought on the coffins of children and a bridle. Praised be the lord himself for I have been living in a cave and imperialism showed me the light.</sarcasm>

This is how pathetic we are, when we can't make our own decisions. Others will hump the wagon, uninvited. I will not wonder whether we should start taking matters in our hands or not, I have been barking up the wrong tree a long time already.