An Unusual Shriek At The Unknown

It must have been a Monday, or another dark Tuesday I really can’t remember, the foul beast has managed to systematize yet another ostentatious charade. Barely surviving on a few hours of turbulent sleep every few days, I ceased to understand the method of time. I became oblivious of its anatomy and the patterns it wove. And as the hours pass the burden grows heavier, and deep inside the darkest of all secrets, Azrael impatiently waits. An unseen edge slashes through my finger as I move my hand across the broken window. Utterly black blood splatters out in a steady flow, I don’t know whether it’s the nicotine or my darker thoughts tainting these veins. I can’t remember the last time I had a dream, I can’t remember the last time I tried to dream.
Ironically I couldn’t help but notice the other day, that my short term memory was forever flawed. Basically I can’t remember what I ate two days ago or even what I said two minutes earlier. And if I were to try and remember, all is blurry but a few snap shots of ambiguous shadows. Another sneak peak at the mind’s eye and you feel the gears of some mysterious clockwork jammed and about to explode so you give the thought a rest. A tap joins the parade in the kitchen, water drops were always my fancied lullaby but for some reason the echoes grow bigger and form a flamboyant feast. I press my hands hard against my ears trying to remain calm, not to snap and eventually sleep. But the muffled monotonous howl of void proves devastating.
I grow restless, the cut on my finger has turned dull burgundy. And I can feel its burn as I smudge the iodine soaked swab around it, as if to remind myself how this evil subjugator is swapping my fragile thoughts. I spread the wound flat and a spark splits my vision like an admonition. Soon it will run dry and attempt to clot; skin has a funny way of emphasizing irony. The shell remains intact while flaws are chained within feeding off all that is bright. I sigh and take a deeper pant as I inhale. I wish this cigarette had a stronger effect.
By the time I stretch out my legs on the ground, I feel numbness spreading into their different angles. This very moment, when you feel every joint in your body crying under agonizing pain renders the entire experience rather addictive and mind intoxicating. In fact it’s one of the reasons encouraging me to last longer, to succumb to this fiend for the result is rewarding. You can almost feel every inch of your body shutting down as it fades away promising of another almost immediate visit.
I look at the clock resting on the coffee table next to my head, it reads 2:30 PM, I had a class to attend.